This Just In: Holiday Diet Tips from the Lush

Yep, today's your lucky day! I had just mentioned to the Lush how stressed and over worked I've been this entire month, and that I've been eating like a newly freed hostage with no exercise, when she suddenly blurted out her new diet secret! She said it so matter-of-factly, and I just knew I needed to share it with loved ones. Her new diet is simply made up of Diet Coke and amphetamines!


Wow! So simple. Why had I been busting my ass on the tennis court and the gym for so long?

Oh, look, there's the Lush and I with our boyfriend, Easter Bunny.

Did I not mention that we share a boyfriend? Ooops! That'll have to wait until the new year!

Wait, wait, wait. Time out. I just realized that Scandalous Housewife doesn't have any amphetamines! Dah-umm!

Oh, easily solved?

1. "Borrow" one of your child's A.D.D. pills,
2. Go to the doctor, act distracted and hyper, and get your own!

Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! While the merry bells keep ringing, keep swigging a glass of champagne! And make it pink!

xoxo

Scandalous

A Note to Scandalous Readers with Scandalous Thoughts

wow, it's been a while since I've posted the latest exploits in my ever-expanding scandalous life. Don't you worry your pretty lil' heads, though. There's been plenty of dirt since we last spoke. And, I still need to finish the final days of the Bev Hills Celebrity Stalking Adventure!

I've got to get some out of town presents mailed today, but promise to start posting new and exciting things this week, so....

Stay tuned!