Budd Foxx Exposé Part Deux: The Egg Timer

Before I begin, there is a bitch slappin' that needs to go down with Jag, my hometown BFF: Jag, what the hell were you thinking sending me home with the Wolf in Preppy 80's clothing that fateful day at the country club?

Ahhhhh, but I know, dear readers, that you have arrived here for the Egg Timer Chronicles.

I was reminiscing about those times with Jag recently when she found out Budd had moved to my Scandalous Suburb.

We were discussing some of Budd's entertaining antics from high school, when suddenly, we both said in unison, "Egg timer!!!!".

Circa 1983'ish: Budd had been seeing a girl who worshiped him. Looking back on it, I believe the relationship was based on the fact that this young woman would do anything sexually that Budd requested. She was the teenaged, horn-dogger's dream.

From the beginning, Budd was receiving regular BJ's from this girl on a daily basis. How did Jag and I know this? Well, Budd openly discussed it with us and our boyfriends!

But said BJ's weren't quite good enough for Budd's "growing" BJ palate. He demanded the girl's performance last for a minimum time, and, just to make certain that she had achieved the proper time allotment, he would bring an egg timer to their fellatio sessions.

Actually, I had always imagined it to be more of the "old school" egg timer, sort of like this:

But later, as I matured, became a mom, and learned how to cook, I started thinking about the entire egg timer in relation to a BJ. A hard boiled egg should boil for 10 minutes,

or less, if you want it medium, or even less if you want a soft boiled egg.
Then, my warped imagination led me to the naughty-but-brilliant mind that is Budd Foxx explaining to the girl that his peen is like an egg: anything less than 10 minutes would leave it soft and not at it's full potential. You know, to a teenage mind, that would really make sense!

I'll bet the next time you're setting the egg timer for your "hard" boiled eggs, a smirky, scandalous grin will come over your face.